Because I Can, IV


The photo is from a fund raiser for childhood cancer research. Fireman shave their heads to show solidarity and raise money. Good stuff. They actually offered to donate a $150 for me to shave my head, I just couldn’t this year because…well, I couldn’t, it was too important to show support for a friend of mine. Next year I’m going to go in with full faux-hawk though and see how much I can get. For a decent dollar donation, I’d give in.

My other good work from this week I’m sorry to say, I can’t show you. It’s from my current long-term project. Someday it will be shown to the world at large, but not today. The work is good, it’s hard, it’s painful, it’s joyful, and loving, it is what it is, but most of all, it’s good, I’m happy with it, I’ve given a lot to this project, and it’s been one of the best decisions of my life.

The rest of this is all personal, read if you please, don’t if you won’t. The world is a confusing place. This year is absolutely excellent. I’ve hung with, talked to, lunched with, otherwise gotten to know excellent person after excellent person. It’s a renaissance of life, it’s a dream, my work is hitting like it has never hit before. The last year is nothing short of amazing. I’m tired, drained, exhausted, and so in love, not with anyone unfortunately, but just in love. I’ve seen and felt so much caring, so much wonder this year. I’ve also seen so much go wrong, so painfully, so horribly, so cruelly wrong around me. I wish the world was a better place, a better place to good people, I wish the universe could show the love to the people around me that I have for them, but it doesn’t. Good people suffer, sometimes horribly and cruelly and pointlessly. I don’t understand it. All I can do is give my love, as much love as I have to my friends who so richly deserve all that I have.

My job may pay like shit, welcome to the industry, it may demand brutal hours some, many, weeks, it may have, I don’t know, I’m scared to find out, removed much of my chance for finding a partner in life, but it has allowed me to see many things in this world, learn many things. One of those lessons is that nothing matters, nothing at all, except love.

I’d say this boils down to really three things. The love of creation, this is true to me at least, this is what is important to me. In the scheme of things it’s small, but it matters to me. The second is loving a good partner. I’m not good at making this happen, it’s just me. I’m not happy with it, but I’m resigned to it, I’m comfy with it. The third, and the one that matters, is the love of those around you, the love of other people. This for me is most easily expressed in the love of my friends. My friends know, I hope they know, I love them, I’ll fight for them, I’ll help them, whatever, they are my friends, they are my flesh and blood in this world, they are what matters. In the larger view, all that matters is each other. A building matters, but only so much as it matters to someone, in and of itself, it’s meaningless. A tree may matter also, but only in how it matters to a person. This is true of everything around us, it matters but only because it matters to someone, in and of itself, it’s meaningless, pointless.

Take a moment today, call someone you wouldn’t have, find a friend, share some time with them, and tell them you love them. We don’t do it enough.

As it’s late while I’m writing this, I’m going to lay back, have some more scotch, I do love my scotch, yummy, and watch some episodes of the Muppet Show. Good stuff.

Addendum: I finally found it! I finally found it! The basis, the start, the source of why Marvin the Martian is the Man, why I love Marvin. Go here. “Hareway to the Stars” When in doubt, go to time 3:12, watch the next 15 seconds or so. Genius. I want to be so cool. Chuck Jones just rocks the house. It’s all about Venus, it’s always about Venus.

One Response to “Because I Can, IV”

  1. Ya Looblue says:

    i feel like i’m comment hogging on all your posts. hope ya’ don’t mind.

    i was going through an old purse last night and found your card–i think you must’ve given it to me after Crucible. i totally started to cry, not because you make me sad or anything, but because October was a really fun month.

    glad you found something cool. how’d the political ballot photo taking (?) go?

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