July 7 2009 – Rest In Peace



Yeah, this post is two months later, and for good reason.  I haven’t been talking about it much, not publicly at least, lots in private, but not publicly.  It’s hard, still is, probably always will be.

As many of you know, either vaguely or specificly, my girlfriend Erin was due with our child, affectionately nick named Bean while in the womb, on Sept. 5th 2009.

I don’t feel like recounting the details.  Sorry.  Just don’t.  Suffice it to say on the 5th of July a developmental problem was discovered that showed that Bean would be unable to survive outside the womb.  There were complications endangering Erin’s health at this point and with the doctor’s counsel and consent labor was induced over the next several days.

On the morning of July 7th Beanie was still born.

I want Beanie to now, today, that I love her very much.  I always will.  I will always miss her.  She brought a joy to my life I’ve never known and her loss has been huge to me, to us.  I would never give up that time I had with her.  Thank you Beanie.


The following is what I wrote to her on that day an some photos of her:


Bean, 7/7/09 – 9:46am


Beanie, we love you.

We loved you from the moment we found out you were inside Erin and we will love you to the day we die.  You brought a joy and happiness to our lives that neither of us had ever experienced.  We are sorry your time with us was so short, but we are so thankful and grateful for that time we got.  You are a part of us, you are a part of our family, you always will be.  We will never forget you.  We will never stop loving you.

Thank you for sharing your life with us.

You will always be my sweet little girl.


2 Responses to “July 7 2009 – Rest In Peace”

  1. Laura says:

    Josh & Erin I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I know there’s no words that can bring comfort and that sounds cliche, but you have my sympathies. Take care of yourselves. ~Laura K

  2. Sarah says:

    I had no idea Josh. Wish I were there. It’s getting close to fall here, the Strange Tree show is in full swing with reherasals, and I’m sad that you won’t be taking photos of it this year. Hugs.

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