Urban Golf
So, as I’ve already established, Monday was just incredible, on so many levels. Well, not to rub it in, but this was Sunday.
Sunday started at the loving time of 5:30am, for leaving the house at least. I spent from about 6am till 10am covering Bike the Drive, the annual closing of Lake Shore Drive so that bicyclists can takeover and enjoy it. It was harder to photograph than I expected, but I got a couple of okay images out of it. Suffice it to say, it got covered.
Later in the day was urban golf, through Cudgel. Basically the idea behind urban golf is you get a golf club, a tennis ball, a series of alleys, dress like a 70s golf rock-star hero, and drink your way through the course. It’s a good time, it’s utterly, and totally ridiculous, hence good time. So I got to spend a few hours hanging out with some awesome people, who were fabulously dressed (“I want to look very meticulously terrible.”)
I also decided, that besides wanting to cover this again in the future, when I do so, I’m playing next time. It’s not so rushed that I can’t, and hell, my journalism has to get more gonzo. (If you don’t know what Gonzo-journalism is, first and foremost I hope you aren’t a journalist, if you are a journalist and don’t know that term I’m kicking your ass. The wikipedia entry is pretty good. I tend towards being a bit more factually accurate, but the whole getting into the middle of events thing I’m all into. While I may be an observer of life more than a participator, I’m at least going to observe from pointblank range. I believe that I can only truly portray a situation if I feel a situation which means being absorbed by the situation which done by being totally and wholly in a situation. Got it?) I need to be more gonzo. I’m doing better, but I must get more involved, almost every image I’m happy-ish with comes from a situation I’m totally absorbed by and in.
Live and learn.
(and the dork in the yellow, is the reporter I was working with. For a reporter (which sets the bar pretty low) he’s pretty good all around.)
Wonderful, Strange
I had the strangest experience on Monday. I had a common holiday off. For the first time in 8-10 years, maybe more, I had Memorial Day off.
See, Memorial Day has a lot of parades and similar, and normally, I’m at those parades making photos. This year, my boss decided to give me the day off and give all that work to freelancers. This was a surprising gift.
I spent the day with two amazing, beautiful women. We picnicked, in spite of the risk of rain, we goofed off, and goofed off some more, and talked enough to write a book or two. Our blankets were covered in food, drink, piles of cameras, clubs and balls and other things for juggling, and wonderful friends.
It’s a strange experience for me to have a day off that other people have off. To be able to enjoy the company of friends so thoroughly. I want to repeat it. I want to repeat having the day off, but more than that, I want to repeat Memorial Day 2008. I want that happiness, that inner warmth, every day. It was amazing. (If I keep talking, all I’m going to do is ramble on about how good it was in a very repetitive manner.)
The photos, some of them are weird, we’re three odd people, but I just like these images. We were just having fun, being us, through and through. There are, quite literally, a hundred more I like also, but I can’t post them all.
I just want you to know, right now, I’m smiling.
Update: Sarah’s blog post, and if you don’t know Sarah, you really should, trust me. Also, her post is so much better than mine. Read it, you’ll get a feel for the day better than from me and discover you want to hang with Sarah also, but I have dibs. Just sayin’.
It’s all about the food
I just get to have lunch/dinner with the coolest people. This is, yep, I’m calling you out on stage for a minute, Peter “George” Ksander, according to Time Out New York, “the most ingenious set designer working downtown.” And the whole serious look thing makes me laugh hysterically.
I’m becoming a stronger and stronger believer in the value of surrounding yourself with the most creative, kindest people you can. I think it will only encourage those things, help you grow those things, in yourself. I’m not sure if that’s how it works, but it’s a happy experiment to try.
Mapplethorpe
You can say many things about Mapplethorpe, and personally there is much of his work I don’t think is artistically all that impressive. On the other hand, there is much of his work that I that I think is spectacular. The man could make a print that would make your mouth water just on the pure technical qualities. Don’t believe me? See some of them, then see if you disagree with me.
And if you think Mapplethorpe was only pictures of gay men, well, there are plenty of those, but his body of work is much more diverse and impressive than just the images that pissed off conservative Senators.
At the same event I got to view many Mapplethorpes, Artopolis, a gathering of hundreds of the worlds high end galleries, I also got to see some Salgados, Warhols, Greenburgs, some of the best and worst of modern art, “Ohhh….look….another painting in a single solid color, how innovative!!!” There seems to be something of an interesting movement to get 2d art to reflect and incorporate 3d art. Interesting trend.
An inspiring day.
A Moment of Silence
I knew coming into April that April was going to suck. It has. Royally.
On Monday I lost one of my closest friends, a friend who I’d spent literally 4 or 5 hours with a day at least a few times a week. Rarely would I not spend at least an hour a day with this wonderful friend. My beloved white 97′ Ford Escort is no more.
I didn’t treat it right. I wasn’t as kind to it as I should’ve been. It had a rough existence, just like everything that is close to me, it was used, abused, thoroughly beaten, but loved. I should’ve cleaned it more, lots more. I should’ve taken it in for maintenance quicker, for the last two months it had a tire that had to be filled up every week because of a “slow” leak. It had a dent that was never dealt with. It was in serious need of a car wash, serious need. The windshield had been cracked for the better part of a decade, it had leaks in multiple places (I’d laugh and swear as it rained on me while I drove), it liked to pull to the right, just a little, the windows were manual, and the number of times I had to tell people to lock their door as they got out I can’t count. Who besides me has…had…manual locks? And manual windows? The drivers side door would freeze shut on and off all winter, usually just the lock, but at least a few times every winter I’d be cursing as I climbed over the passenger’s seat to get in, and sometimes out.
It always got me where I was going, reliably, until Monday. I was pissed when it busted. I was supposed to be having a picnic with a friend of mine. An event that would probably have been the highlight of my week. Instead I was sitting on the trunk of my car in a community college parking lot, which I had mistakenly gone to because I screwed up where my shoot was at. Sitting on the trunk, waiting for a tow truck, thinking the fuel pump was busted. I was annoyed. I was supposed to be having a picnic. It was over 70 and sunny. It was going to be such a good day.
I had, by some weird quirk of chance left my bike in the trunk of my car. At least getting home from the mechanic’s was going to be easy. A little before 4pm I got the call. I don’t cry. I just don’t. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just me. But I couldn’t handle that one. I only had a few minutes before I had to get running to my next shoot, but I shed a few for my Ford. The engine needed to be rebuilt, and, well, it’s a 97′ Ford Escort. The work was more than buying a new one. Nothing but dumb bad luck. Something involving the 4th piston and a lot of words I don’t quite get. Nothing I could’ve done. I can’t even feel guilty that it was somehow “my fault”, it wasn’t. It was just gone. It had seen it’s last trip.
137,000 miles, 90,000 of those with me.
It was my first car, my only car to date. I need to get a new one, this week or next. But I’m going to miss my white 97′ Ford Escort, affectionately known in my own head as the “411″.
You’ll always have a place in my heart.
Infra-Red (IR) Afternoon
As the weather was nothing short of gorgeous today, I figured I’d go for a bike ride. Ride the IPP (Illinois Praire Path) from Wheaton to Aurora and back. Would’ve helped if I had thrown my bike shoes in the car. Yes, along with all my other snobberies, I have clip-in shoes for my bike. I like them.
So, after a few minutes of pouting, yes, I pouted, I decided to go for a walk instead. The plan had been to bike, exercise and take some photos with the IR camera I got back in December but haven’t had much chance to use yet. Slowing down gives you more time to look, walking is the best way to see your surroundings. Since I was walking, I shot a lot.
It was fun, relaxing. They’re pointless pretty images, but they make me smile, and some of them are very Rorschach inkblot test. I know what I see, what do you see?
Mentor and Friends
It would seem every year my alma mater is hosting an event, “The PJ Love Seminar”. It’s a celebration of and eductional discussions about photojournalism, plus a celebration of one of my former teachers and mentors, John H. White. John’s the bomb. It was a good event, recharging and much needed.
It also ended at the Billy Goat, where we discussed how the sky was falling in journalism, and Vince took a picture of the crotch of his pants with everybody else’s cameras. Don’t ever leave a PJ alone and unsupervised.
7 Days, This is 7 Days
Alright, this is to help give you an idea of what 7 days in my life looks like. This doesn’t cover it all, there are some images I’d like to have in here which are missing, just no time to work on them, others have already been posted. There are, of course, things I did, very happy events, which I enjoyed, didn’t document. But this is 7 days, from Friday, March 28th till Thursday, April 3rd.
The theme of my seven days was awesome people.
This includes some former residents of the Henry Horner CHA projects. They had a great conversation, which I was minimally part of, about the past. Basically, the past is the past, we’ve made our mistakes, it’s where 
are we going, who are we now. It’s one thing for me to say this, it’s another to hear this from a man who’s done some time. It’s also always fun to hear stories about the projects, and how wonderful they were, how much fun, how strong of community there was. It’s so easy to see what we want to see, or what was most recent, to forget that there is so much more there, there once was so much more there, if we just sit down and listen. Stories about kids growing up, and parents having to sneak out to have a drink because they couldn’t be seen drinking in front of their kids. Doors left unlocked because it was community. Kids goofing off, and while going up the stars getting a whoppin’ from adult after adult for their misbehavior, till they got home, the parent thanked all their neighbors for whoppin’ their kid and then gave em’ a whoppin’ themselves. The kids learned quick, communities are wonderful things.
Lloyd Bradbury, a blind painter. He can see just a few inches out of one eye. He’s happy, a kind of sarcastic in a fun humorous way, funny, intelligent, and a pretty decent painter. We had a good talk about how art has to come from what the artist feels. He’s good people, good people, and someone who I look forward to talking to again.
Otherwise, a week of good friends, good to awesome talks, some really hard stuff, really hard. I hate watching bad things happen to really good people, but it does, and it sucks, I wish I could protect my friends, but alas….
Other more random photos:
The man with the bat is Ernie Banks. Not to exciting the PR shot essentially, but cool, because it was Ernie Banks, not to mention Hank Aaron was there, we just goes to neat’o in my book.
The building is the Chicago Cultural Center, and it’s Escher like nature. I’d been meaning to shoot that space for a while, and I’ve still got a lot of exploring of it to do, but it was fun to spend some time there before having dinner with a friend.
The play was something I shot as a job for a buddy of mine. The usual theatre stuff.
Because I Can, VI
Random images from the last week or so. Some work, some not, some finalized, some still being debated on. Just a whatever throwing some imagery up kind of post.
Ewwww….Cooties
This is just a few quick grabs from the last few minutes of a friend’s birthday party. I normally don’t go for cute, lovey dovey crap, but hey, we all got to branch out every once and a while.
Anyhow, this is the birthday girl Nora, and her man toy, Jason. They’re good together. I like them together. She is so out of his league. And yeah, they make me want to puke also, but you still have to give them credit, they are cute together, even if disgustingly so.
I also probably should have edited this tighter, really one or two would’ve done it, but I’m not going to right now. It’s late, and I’m tired. I’m also not so sure on the sepia toning, haven’t done it before, but for some reason it felt right. I’ll change my mind in the morning.
You Brought a Knife…
You brought a knife to an Axe fight?
The problem with modernity, is that everyone is so safety conscious. I used to be able to walk down the streets of town, and find someone, at least one someone, some times a few, who would be willing to engage in a perfectly fun and friendly axe fight.
Not anymore. No one axe fights. It’s too dangerous.
Wussies.
Dreaming
Why a picture of a building? Yeah, I take lots of photos of buildings, this building though I’ve dreamed about for about 13 years now.
I was first in this building back when I was assisting for a magazine and we were doing an in-house ad, “these are the people that read this mag!” Yeah, whatever.
It’s an old CTA substation up by DePaul. I was a block away for a shoot today and just happened to be walking by it. There are three buildings of it’s design in Chicago-land. This one, which is owned by a well known sculptor. Another in Oak Park, which I’ve also been in, humorously enough, which is owned by another well known artist and occasional sculptor. (Both work a lot in metals, hmm.) The third is on the south side somewhere and is apparently an industrial business of some sort. Metal work I believe. (hmm…)
Why do I love these buildings? Good question, thanks for asking. Starting from the front, if you go back to between the first and second window, that portion of the building is living space. 3 floors of pretty good size living space. The rest of the building is wide open. It’s an empty space. It also does have rails between the upper and lower sets of windows which hold an industrial strength winch, for lifting and moving CTA “L” cars.
If/when I get one of these buildings, I’m not entirely sure what I’d do with it. I might turn the open space into a giant studio space, it would rock. More likely, I’d turn it into a forest. Plant a couple of trees, get some birds, a few animals, and have my own Eden in the city. I always want to escape the city and get to the woods, but it’s hard to find the time. Imagine just coming home to it. It’s a large enough and well enough lit space to hold at least 3 large trees and some smaller foliage. Maybe a little pool, by little like 15 feet round with a stream.
And remember that industrial winch on rails? Imagine using the bracing of that, removing the hardware, putting in a sheet metal floor with small holes punched in, so you could see below you, and were able to look out over the forest. That would be my main living space. A bed, a bathroom (bathroom, no doors, just curved semi-opaque glass) and a little relaxation area. All open. Just my tree house above my forest in the city.
I dream of that space, I have for a long time, I always will. The details of getting there I just don’t know, but it’s a dream, I may find a way, but part of the joy is in having the dream.
Okay, so of my three “big” dreams, that’s number two. Let me give you a run down on one and three also.
Three is the least likely. Quit everything, move to Hawaii, surf in the morning, take pretty pictures of nothing meaningful in the late afternoon. Just escape the rat race, escape responsibility. It’s my escapist, won’t happen, and wouldn’t want it to happen dream, but it gets me through those tough days.
My number one dream, I’m pretty sure I can pull off. It’s going to be a few years, but I’ve got the initial plan, it’s just doing some foot work, and when I decide to do it, which I get closer to every year, I can get everything together in under a year.
I’m going to get myself a canoe, a bunch of supplies, cameras, solar cells, tent, sleeping bag, all that good stuff, and I’m going to canoe the Mississippi-Missouri-Jefferson. It’s a little under 4,000 miles. I figure it will take 9 to 18 months. I’m not going to worry about just doing it. I’m going to use it as a conduit to explore the country and understand myself. I’ll blog the whole thing of course (it has some good book potential, and blogging might be able to provide me with a modest income while doing it, not to mention I’ll need to be journaling in some fashion, so why not do it publicly). I’ll probably make it a largely one way communication though, only one person with my email address, no incoming cell phone, all that good stuff. I’ll occasionally invite a friend to join me for a week, but not many, and not often. Mostly, I just want to meet the people on the central artery of this country. Talk to them, get to know them, document the river. The escapist aspect has been noticed also.
It’s a very doable dream, not easy, but definitely doable. The key is going to be getting to a point where I have nothing, or little, to leave behind. I’m not saying that is a good thing, but the closer I get to there, the more I see this as a viable option. I’d put 2 to 1 odds that I do it, someday. My best guess would be five years.
I’ve had a lot of serious life lately, and that’s fine, the last year has been wonderful, and horrible. If nothing else it’s been meaningful, and I wouldn’t give it back for anything. On the other hand, it has been hard, some days very hard. So I do what many people do, I escape into my dreams sometimes. Maybe I see my dreams as being a little bit more doable than most though (outside of my moving to Mars dream, that’s really unlikely.) I guess I understand having to do stuff in life, and I support it, but maybe those dreams I have, the dreams you have, maybe I just see, believe, they can be lived, if we want to live them. Saying that makes me want to leave next week, but I’ve got a few more good years, then I’ll be gone, and why not? I always wonder, why not live your dreams? Nothing stops us but us, and a strong enough desire to fulfill the dream.
Because I Can, IV
The photo is from a fund raiser for childhood cancer research. Fireman shave their heads to show solidarity and raise money. Good stuff. They actually offered to donate a $150 for me to shave my head, I just couldn’t this year because…well, I couldn’t, it was too important to show support for a friend of mine. Next year I’m going to go in with full faux-hawk though and see how much I can get. For a decent dollar donation, I’d give in.
My other good work from this week I’m sorry to say, I can’t show you. It’s from my current long-term project. Someday it will be shown to the world at large, but not today. The work is good, it’s hard, it’s painful, it’s joyful, and loving, it is what it is, but most of all, it’s good, I’m happy with it, I’ve given a lot to this project, and it’s been one of the best decisions of my life.
The rest of this is all personal, read if you please, don’t if you won’t. The world is a confusing place. This year is absolutely excellent. I’ve hung with, talked to, lunched with, otherwise gotten to know excellent person after excellent person. It’s a renaissance of life, it’s a dream, my work is hitting like it has never hit before. The last year is nothing short of amazing. I’m tired, drained, exhausted, and so in love, not with anyone unfortunately, but just in love. I’ve seen and felt so much caring, so much wonder this year. I’ve also seen so much go wrong, so painfully, so horribly, so cruelly wrong around me. I wish the world was a better place, a better place to good people, I wish the universe could show the love to the people around me that I have for them, but it doesn’t. Good people suffer, sometimes horribly and cruelly and pointlessly. I don’t understand it. All I can do is give my love, as much love as I have to my friends who so richly deserve all that I have.
My job may pay like shit, welcome to the industry, it may demand brutal hours some, many, weeks, it may have, I don’t know, I’m scared to find out, removed much of my chance for finding a partner in life, but it has allowed me to see many things in this world, learn many things. One of those lessons is that nothing matters, nothing at all, except love.
I’d say this boils down to really three things. The love of creation, this is true to me at least, this is what is important to me. In the scheme of things it’s small, but it matters to me. The second is loving a good partner. I’m not good at making this happen, it’s just me. I’m not happy with it, but I’m resigned to it, I’m comfy with it. The third, and the one that matters, is the love of those around you, the love of other people. This for me is most easily expressed in the love of my friends. My friends know, I hope they know, I love them, I’ll fight for them, I’ll help them, whatever, they are my friends, they are my flesh and blood in this world, they are what matters. In the larger view, all that matters is each other. A building matters, but only so much as it matters to someone, in and of itself, it’s meaningless. A tree may matter also, but only in how it matters to a person. This is true of everything around us, it matters but only because it matters to someone, in and of itself, it’s meaningless, pointless.
Take a moment today, call someone you wouldn’t have, find a friend, share some time with them, and tell them you love them. We don’t do it enough.
As it’s late while I’m writing this, I’m going to lay back, have some more scotch, I do love my scotch, yummy, and watch some episodes of the Muppet Show. Good stuff.
Addendum: I finally found it! I finally found it! The basis, the start, the source of why Marvin the Martian is the Man, why I love Marvin. Go here. “Hareway to the Stars” When in doubt, go to time 3:12, watch the next 15 seconds or so. Genius. I want to be so cool. Chuck Jones just rocks the house. It’s all about Venus, it’s always about Venus.
Flight and Falling
The pics have nothing to do with the words. I don’t care. The pics are from Ameba’s current piece, “On the Edge” at the Ruth Page Center for the Arts.
I have no idea any more. I’ve totally lost any concept of if I’m flying or if I’m falling, as far as I can tell, there is no difference between the two. I’m overwhelmed on almost every side of life. I can’t handle it, and I love it. The contradictions in my life are constant, and thorough. I’m totally lost, and I just can’t stop myself from continuing to go, further and further. Reality is becoming a distant memory, unless where I’m at right now is reality, which I find hard to believe, but how would I know?
I increasingly see my life in terms of “Apocalypse Now”. It’s my all time favorite movie. It describes my life. Surreality every where, all sides. And I just keep getting pulled up river, pulled by some force I don’t understand. I don’t know who I am, both in terms of which character I would most resemble (I can make arguments for the Chief, Lance, and the photojournalist, but I want to be Kurtz.) and I just don’t know if I know who I am anymore. I’ve chosen to let go, or remake so many parts of me in the last year, it’s amazing, I’m happier, I’m a better person, a better human, but I’m not sure who I am, or where I am. This isn’t a bad thing, if anything, it’s a good thing. I’m just totally lost on the river. Whatever it is, it works, but it’s all such a swirl.
I’m Too Tired…
It’s been go, go, and even more go for weeks now. I’m going to collapse at some point, in every way. I need a few things to recharge, some will happen, some are in the works, others, well, you know, that’s just life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. It’s nothing but shoot, hang with awesome people, and do things I love to do, but I need to collapse also. Tomorrow I want to go hang at the planetarium and watch the eclipse. I hope that will help me recharge spiritually a little. A little here, a little there. It’s important to stay somewhat fresh, sparky, to be able to work your best. My work isn’t suffering…yet. (btw – “yet” is the best word in the whole of the English language. Filled with either infinite hope and possibility, or portending doom and destruction, and often both.) Anyway, off my whining.
Few quick items. I got to see (meaning shoot) my favorite-ist tap dance company (favorite-ist because they’re good at what they do, and they are unreasonably kind to me. I got a X-mas present. That’s so cool.) last weekend with my favorite-ist singer. Talk about a set-up for good, but still…The review is supposed to be in the Trib soon. If it goes along with my review, get your tickets today. No seriously, today. The show, especially the first “act” is a sight to behold and hear. I’m going to try to sit and watch this one again, I really, really want to, I should shortly have everything lined up, assuming some generosity from the lovely ladies (and Mark and Phil) and that I can get the night off of work, which requires two basketball teams to lose, which they should do, but if they don’t, I’m going to be real bummed. Not that Bloomington-Normal ain’t fun during spring break, but really, just shoot me now. It would sadden me to not be able to see this show again. But, if all goes well, I will, and I get to take a good friend. (The photos aren’t quite what I’d like, are they ever?, but just trust me when I say it’s a show worth seeing.)
Also, in the world of the weird. I’m on that YouTube thingy. Well, not me really, a bunch of us. It’s an overview shot of the Lakeview Polar Bear event. I’m the one with the camera looking like a fool, a fool in need of a tan. It’s just nice every once and a while to say, “Hey, there’s me! I did it too!” as usually I’m the one on the other side, and happier that way, but every once and a while.
Anyhow, back to work…always, back to work…
Another Day, Another Giant Lady Bug
Did a freelance job tonight, shooting a speaker at a podium. It ran a half hour long, so that was all I did, for an hour. Whatever, they’re paying for me to be there, I’ll be there and shoot what I can. Then the speaker’s laptop battery started to die, he gave up on it. The computer went to the screen saver. Really, after an hour of photographing a guy talk (though his talk was quite interesting, it was on education. Did you know that shortly the country with the most English speakers will be China?) I just couldn’t pass up a giant lady bug behind him.
It’s the little jokes in life that make me happy. Attack of the Giant Lady Bugs!!! Quick, get the Sixty-foot Woman!!!
——————–
On a separate note, I’m not a fan of guides to being creative. I don’t think they really exist, but their are things which can help. Anyway, this list I thought was good fodder for thought. I agree with most of it.
I’m in the Center of the Earth
Okay, the photo ain’t great, who cares? I just wanted you to notice one very important detail, Asia, is backwards. That’s not because Photoshop can do anything and everything, that’s because I was inside the Earth, not outside of it. Yeah baby. I was in the middle of the Earth. Cool, huh?
You know what is truly sad about events like this, it’s wasted on kids (and me, though the distinction is often a very fine one). Someday these kids will be working a real job, doing real stuff, and they’ll have totally forgotten about how they explored the Earth from the inside out, and how cool it was. Sure, it’s just a big balloon, but man, it was fun, and cool. The other sad part, I get more excited about this stuff than the first graders do. I don’t know if that makes me sad, or them, but it was cool.
Because I Can
The first one is just because I love people who are passionate, passionate about something, just loving it. This guy, Jeffrey Green, loved his gospel. Though I have to ask a question here, who paints a ceiling with lime green grid pattern? Really? You thought this was a good idea? Because? (and yeah, I love her expression also.)
The second is just because I like the interplay of the color, shadow and shapes. I’m allowed to like an image for purely artistic BS reasons occasionally.
Alright, must stop avoiding work. This is why it takes me 2 months to do expense reports. Geez.